Solomon makes a cold, realistic diagnosis of human nature. He warns us not to be naive when evaluating our circle of relationships, especially once we start to succeed.
The Law of Self-Interest
The text says "many curry favor with a ruler." When you get promoted, open a successful business, or gain recognition, the phone starts ringing more. People who never gave you the time of day suddenly want to grab coffee. Wisdom teaches you not to be fooled: often, it isn't your presence that attracts these people, but the favor you can do for them.
The Friend of the Gift
Friendship based on what the other person can offer is purely transactional. It's an unwritten contract: "I'll stick around while you're useful to me." The danger of surrounding yourself with "friends of gifts" is that on the day your source dries up, your company goes through a crisis, or your position ends, those friendships evaporate instantly.
The Filter of Loyalty
The wise leader moves through networking without handing it their heart. You need emotional intelligence to tell apart who's sitting at your table to eat your food and who's there to watch your back. Loyalty is proven in pain, not at the banquet.
Friendship that only exists when you're giving is a contract, not a covenant. The friend of covenant stays after everyone else has left.
“O Poder da Autorresponsabilidade” — Paulo Vieira
The victim gets burned by a false friend and spends years crying: "He only used me and abandoned me when I went broke." The self-responsible person doesn't play the victim: they admit they failed at the filter, understand that human beings have their own interests, and take responsibility for guarding their own inner circle, investing only in those who prove loyalty in pain.
Jesus Christ experienced the bitterest side of this proverb. In John 6, Jesus multiplies loaves and fish, and suddenly a huge crowd begins to follow him. But Jesus confronts them: “Very truly I tell you, you are looking for me, not because you saw the signs I performed but because you ate the loaves and had your fill.” The next day, when Jesus began preaching hard words of renunciation, the whole crowd turned their backs and walked away. They wanted the bread, but not His heart.
The beauty of the Gospel is that Christ does the opposite with us. He doesn't love us for what we can offer, because we have no gifts or favors that could impress God. He loves us unconditionally and calls us friends not out of self-interest, but out of grace. Our mission is to imitate that love: to be loyal to people for who they are, not for what they have.