More Words Do Not Guarantee Listening
October 23, 2026 · Proverbs 23:9 · GNT
“Don't try to talk sense to a fool; he can't appreciate it.”
Proverbs 23:9 · GNT
Reflection
You explain calmly, change the example, and send another voice message. The person responds with mockery, twists what you said, and asks you to explain again. You keep going, thinking you need to find the perfect words. But perhaps that conversation's problem is not a lack of information. It may be a lack of willingness to listen.
Proverbs 23:9 draws attention to that difference. The fool in this verse treats wisdom with contempt. This is not about limited schooling, a learning difficulty, or an opinion different from yours. The problem is the attitude of despising what could help.
In the same chapter, verse 12 invites us to pay attention and learn. The contrast matters: having wise words available is not enough; we must be willing to receive them. Before adding another explanation, notice whether anyone is still listening.
1Distinguish difficulty understanding from refusal to listen.
Someone who wants to understand may ask the same question several times, disagree, or need another example. That is not contempt. Notice whether the person is trying to understand or simply looking for a way to ridicule. Check your part too: did you explain clearly? Or offer unasked-for advice at the wrong moment? The verse does not make our opinion automatically wise or everyone who disagrees a fool.
2Do not try to solve unwillingness to listen with more words.
A useful conversation makes room for honest questions and a next step. When everything becomes a reason for mockery, you can say: "I have explained what I think. If you want to talk respectfully, we can return to it." At work, record the necessary guidance and follow the proper procedure. In a friendship, do not turn care into constant supervision. Offering help is different from trying to control someone's decision.
3Be willing to be taught yourself.
It is easy to remember who does not listen. It is harder to notice when we do the same: interrupting, preparing our defense before understanding, or dismissing advice because it touches a habit we do not want to change. Ask someone you trust: "What are you trying to tell me that I never let you finish?" Listen without preparing a reply to every sentence. The proverb's warning needs room in us too.
This discernment is not permission to abandon children, withhold explanations you owe, or leave someone at risk. Children and people who depend on our care need patient teaching adapted to their needs. If there are threats or violence, seek protection and appropriate help; do not rely on persuading the aggressor by yourself.
Long before books on communication, Proverbs showed that speaking well does not guarantee being heard. This wisdom protects us from the exhaustion of trying to produce a change in someone that we cannot control. It helps us grow through clear, respectful, responsible relationships, rather than an endless search for the last word.
Today, choose where to keep explaining and where to pause. Do not end a conversation to punish someone or avoid valid criticism. Say what is needed, fulfill your responsibility, and leave room for a response that cannot be forced.
You can love without forcing someone to agree.
O Poder da Ação, Paulo Vieira
discussing questions, Vieira proposes asking about the next step rather than remaining stuck on repeated answers. The connection is asking whether there is something concrete the person wants to understand or do. This helps us recognize openness, but gives us no control over anyone. A question is not a technique for forcing agreement.
O Cavaleiro Preso na Armadura, Robert Fisher
in the Castle of Silence, the character realizes he talked a lot without truly listening to his wife. The connection is examining ourselves too: before concluding that no one accepts your advice, notice whether you listen to others. This is a literary illustration, not a biblical explanation or permission to despise people.
(These connections are based on the Brazilian editions; the descriptions above are translated paraphrases, not quotations.)
A Christ-Centered Connection
In Mark 10:17-22, a man approaches Jesus with a question about eternal life. Jesus looks at him with love and gives an answer that challenges his attachment to wealth. The man leaves feeling sad.
We do not need to call that man a fool or declare how his story ends. But the scene shows that a truthful, loving answer may not be welcomed. The account does not show Jesus multiplying arguments to pressure him into a decision. He loves without turning the encounter into a struggle to control the person.
When the disciples ask who can be saved, Jesus points to God: what is impossible for human beings is possible for him (Mark 10:23-27). Our hope is not in finding an irresistible argument. It is in God's power and grace.
And Jesus is more than a skilled communicator. In Mark 10:45, he describes his mission to serve and give his own life to save. He is the Savior of those who listen humbly and of those who need to leave behind the pride of thinking they have nothing to learn.
In 2 Timothy 2:24-26, we are instructed to teach patiently and correct gently, without constant quarreling. A changed heart is not the counselor's personal victory. It depends on God's work and cannot be forced by pressure.
Today, follow Jesus by joining truth with love. You can offer guidance, respect boundaries, and keep praying without trying to take God's place in another person's decision. And you can ask for grace to hear the very advice you have been avoiding.
Does this conversation need a better explanation, or a willingness to listen?
Choose a safe, specific situation. Do not use the challenge to classify everyone around you.
- 1Check that you understood the question and that your advice is relevant.
- 2Offer clear guidance and ask which point still needs explaining.
- 3If contempt keeps recurring, take a respectful pause without abandoning your responsibilities.
- 4Listen to advice directed at you without interrupting or immediately defending yourself.
Key phrase: "I will speak clearly and listen humbly."
1. What does Proverbs 23:9 teach us?
The verse warns that wise words may be despised when there is no willingness to listen. This differs from struggling to understand or disagreeing honestly. The aim is not to label people, but to recognize when more explanation cannot solve an unwillingness to learn.
2. How can we apply this while still caring for people?
Explain clearly, check the question, and fulfill your responsibility. If the conversation has become repeated contempt, pause and find another way to address the matter. This does not remove our duty to teach children patiently, give explanations we owe, or protect someone who is at risk.
3. How does Jesus help us live out this wisdom?
Jesus joins truth with love without treating someone's change as a struggle for control. He is the Savior, not merely an example of communication. We can trust God's grace and power, teach patiently, and recognize when we ourselves need to listen and learn.
Wisdom Pill
The Game Needed Two Listeners — For grown-ups to read with children